Why, why, why???

You have been warned: this is a rant. Read at your own risk.

I do not and will never understand this. Why do so many people of my acquaintance think it necessary to find me someone to marry? I do not wish to marry! Not yet! How many times must I say that before all these people will get it?

(If you are a regular reader, you are not one of those people. I only give out my blog address to the people who don't try to force things on me.)

Do I look that desperate? Do I look as though I need someone to help me find a "nice young man"? Why do so many people bombard me with this unwanted affection and with offers to help?

If I want to find someone, I will find someone -- or he will find me. God will bring him along someday if it's meant to be. It's not up to all the would-be matchmakers to find a "nice young man" for me. They get such a kick out of it -- and they all act like they're doing me the world's biggest favour by digging up some "nice young man" and bullying him into asking me out.

What nobody seems to understand is that the reason I get mad is that no one will take NO for an answer! If I tell people, "NO, don't set me up, I'm not looking to find anyone right now," they laugh as though I've said something terribly witty and then go on with their plans.

"Oh, ha ha," they chuckle, "everyone who's single says that just because they can't find anybody! Don't worry, I'll find you a nice young man. Just you wait and see. No, don't thank me -- it's perfectly all right. I don't mind at all. Oh, I can't wait to see how this turns out. I have several nice young men in mind for you right now! Don't forget to tell me how the dates go. And just remember, tee hee, I want to be invited to the wedding!"

Oh my goodness, people -- when I say no, I mean no!

Somebody set me up with this guy once...I told him in no uncertain terms to back off, and he informed me loftily, "Girls only SAY no because they actually want the guys to chase them! So, when can I see you again? Tomorrow night?"

"Aiee, the ego, the conceit!" said Judy Garland in a movie once (The Crimson Pirate). I might add to that,"the STUPIDITY!"

Who TOLD him that?!?!?!

Suffice it to say I was sorely tempted to bash him over the head with the nearest blunt object. "Officers, I am here to turn myself in. Lock me away for the next fifty years -- solitary confinement, please! No one will be able to bother me in there!"

I've had at least two people try to set me up this year and three guys ask me out. You remember the FBI agent, right? Look back through my posts and you'll find him.

Most recently, one of my co-workers came to talk to me over his lunch break -- he was the one who inspired this vent. He sat down near me and, without preamble, said, "So, you go to school here?"

"Yes," I said.

"You married?"

"No," I spluttered, laughing.

"Why not?"

"Umm, because I don't WANT to be right now -- and besides, nobody's asked me." (Well, that's not entirely true -- a bluebellied Yankee scoundrel asked me to marry him once, on a Civil War train ride. I believe his exact words were, "Let's get hitched!" But he was just kidding around. It was part of a skit, so that doesn't count. Thank God.)

The persistent co-worker continued to ask me probing questions and finally ended the conversation with, "Well, I'll have to see what I can do about finding you a nice young man --"

I cut him off right there. "No. Just don't even go there. I've had enough people trying to set me up. I don't need any more."

"Well..." he hesitated. "I'll just tell him to come talk to your father then, how's that?"

What is it about "no!" that these people don't understand? Am I not speaking clearly enough? Is the word NO not in the dictionary anymore?

*clears throat daintily*

Well, dear readers, that is all I have for your entertainment today. Look for two more blogs in the near future, one of them the promised post on consumerism.