I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!

All righty...I'm going to give this another shot. I realised I don't have to post long extended monologues -- I can just do short snippets! So I'll give it a try.

Hmm.

I'm at work at the library, and despite warnings to restrict internet usage, I'm on both facebook chat and blogger.com.

A Dolly Parton CD just came in, and I had to fight mightily to restrain my gag reflex. You see, not only have I never ever been a Dolly fan, the Cracker Barrel has just signed a deal with Dolly to feature a revamped copy of Backwoods Barbie with three new songs recorded exclusively for the Cracker Barrel. Would you like to guess what they decided to call the CD? Backwoods Barbie: The Collector's Edition! How charmingly original.

In addition to putting out stacks and stacks of pink-accented CDs plastered with the all-too-plastered face of Dolly Parton...in addition to filling the porch with Pepto-Bismol coloured Dolly Parton rocking chairs...we are also required to play songs from aforementioned CD. Yes, the down-home atmosphere of Grand Ole Opry and Ricky Skaggs (who should not even be forced to share a paragraph with Dolly) has been polluted by trailer trash. Alas and alack.

And here's the kicker. On the weekends, never mind just polluting the Cracker Barrel satellite radio station -- we turn the station into The Dolly Parton Channel! 24 hours a day, three days in a row! Every song on the CD is repeated over and over in an endless loop of horror.

My gag reflex has started up again. I'll stop before I really make myself sick.

Have an otherwise nice day, peeps! And if you can spare a second, send up a prayer for us poor souls forced to work weekends at the Cracker Barrel with The Dolly Parton Channel blaring in our tortured ears.

:D