Randomness

OK, lots of topics for today, in random order.

#1: a question. Why is it that people who are considered intelligent enough to write school textbooks are not quite intelligent enough to make them interesting?

#2: also a question. Why must these people persist in using those little numbers in superscript to indicate their sources that are listed at the VERY BACK of the book and that probably have little to no relevance anyway?! Notes at the bottom of each page are annoying enough, but superscripted numbers are even worse! At least the notes at the bottom of the page take up room on the page so I have to read less (unless of course the teacher tests us on the notes too).

#3: a blessing! Jess sent me an awesome, awesome book and a beaut blue scarf for Chrissie! And some candy canes. Yay!!! I can't wait to read the book and am wearing the scarf right now. And I already have been nibbling the candy canes. ;) THANK YOU JESS! YOU ROCK!

#4: wow, I was so happy about that that I forgot what #4 was supposed to be. Hmm...oh, right, now I know what it was. SFL has been bugging me about the consumerism post I was supposed to have written quite a while back. Well, SFL, you are out of luck, because I lost the slip of paper on which I wrote down my little inspirations for the post. All I remember of that list was my foolproof way to avoid the salespeople who stand in the middle of the mall and harangue you as you walk by.

"Oh, ma'am! Excuse me, ma'am? Can I ask you a question? Let me see your hands. Hmm. Do you use lotion on your hands, ma'am? They look like they could do with some TLC. Here, sit down at my booth for a minute and I will make your hands feel softer than they have ever felt before. Have you ever heard of RestoraLotion? It's made of minerals harvested from the floor of the Indian Ocean and natural plant botanicals from Zimbabwe. Here, let me rub a little on the back of your hand. Doesn't that feel amazing! I use it every night, myself. I wouldn't use anything else. This lotion is an amazing buy at only 19.95 per bottle! Plus, since you are such a great customer, I will give you this amazing free gift: Madam Parnelle's Hot Wax Treatment for Cuticles! Just warm it in the microwave, smooth it on your cuticles, and then wipe it off when it's cooled. It will..."

And on and on it goes. Usually I try to avoid these people and have been fairly successful in the past. Just lifting your chin and striding past them with a faraway yet purposeful gaze is usually enough to make them seek an easier target; however, there are those persistent salespeople who will not leave you alone and who you cannot get away from short of being absolutely rude.

So! The sure-fire way to avoid getting snagged by the RestoraLotion people? When within 25 feet of the booth, begin the following series of manoeuvres: look surprised, reach into your pocket, pull out your cell phone, flip it open, and proceed to have a very loud, very involved conversation with an imaginary friend. Don't immediately hang up once you've passed the stand, however, or they will catch on; continue to talk until you've gotten at least 50 feet away. Don't forget to make the conversation realistic, or they'll never buy it. If you do it successfully, however, you will feel like a consummate professional.

Try it -- it's fun.