Saturday, November 28, 2009

As Mr. Bill says, "Oh nooooooooo...!"

Ack! I haven't posted since September! :(

I still haven't finished my picture-heavy post that I started weeks ago, the one I promised Clair, about campfire smoke. Blogger just delights in kicking me off after every picture upload, so due to frustration on my part, it's been a long time coming. It's still on its way, though, so bear with me.

Not to mention that I haven't updated Spot On, my other blog, in like a year...or maybe more...I will, though, just for my own sanity or something vaguely resembling it. Heheh. Sometimes I'm not sure I have any sanity left anymore.

Between rude people at my jobs and other junky stuff life generally throws at everyone, I'm about at the end of any patience I ever had. I depend on books and movies and such to cheer me up. The Artemis Fowl series has been a lifesaver lately. Eoin Colfer has such a great sense of humour. And Nathaniel Parker, bless his heart -- I just love him. His reading of audiobooks is the most fun ever, and watching the subtleties of his acting onscreen is beyond amazing. I don't think he realises how much joy he brings people.

Anyway, all that being said -- I need to learn how to depend more on the Lord for my joy instead of on external influences. They're great for temporary "lifts," but I know only He can bring lasting peace and happiness. It's somewhat embarrassing to admit, but even after all these years, I haven't learned how to tap into that stream of mercy whenever I need it. It almost seems like it's what the TV looks like sometimes with the "wonderful" new digital signal it's supposed to send...a lot of times, there's a big black box blocking most of my view of whatever's on. Every angry person, every rude answer, every little petty row with a coworker is that big black box blocking my access to the sweetness of God.

Unfortunately, a lot of the time I think I'm the one who puts that box there, with my reactions to what's happening around me. It's not that I WANT to put the box there. But it ends up there just the same. Hmmm.

Any words of wisdom for me? I need some. :)