Ice and Blood

It all started when my friend Aisling asked if I wanted to get together to watch Pride and Prejudice (the new one which, by the way, while good does not compare to the BBC version). I said "sure" so we decided to rent the movie and watch it at her dorm room.

We went out to Wegmans, the Queen of Supermarkets, to pick up some food items we thought we'd need, including raspberries, strawberries, cheese, crackers, milk, and such. As we pulled into the dorm parking lot, Aisling said, "Oh, shoot, I forgot ice!"

So back out we went, to the small neighbourhood super this time instead of all the way back to Wegmans. After getting the ice, we went back to her dorm room and unloaded all our sweeties, taking the ice, berries, and milk to the dorm floor kitchen, along with Aisling's smoothie maker.

"First things first," said Aisling, taking the bag of ice and raising it over her head. "We've got to break up this ice a bit or the smoothie maker won't work right."

CRASH! Ice went flying, skittering over the floor and spinning round like crystal beads scattered all over a mirror.

"Oh, no!" Aisling gasped, reaching for the plastic bag. "It wasn't supposed to break!" The bag slipped out of her grasp and more ice came cascading out.

I grabbed it too and we gingerly set it on the counter, preserving what little ice we had left. Then we ruefully surveyed the glittering, soggy mess.

Aisling caught my eye. "Ehm...how do you feel about eating ice off the floor?"

So we drank smoothies made with ice from off a dorm kitchen floor. It's a wonder we haven't both come down with some deadly virus or something.

Speaking of which...that was a good segue, wasn't it?...the other day I was in one of my classes in the basement of one of the school buildings on campus. No, really, it wasn't that bad. A little mold never hurt anything. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

So anyway, one of the girls sitting next to me looked as if she didn't feel well. She put a hand on her throat as if she wanted to chunder.

"Are you OK?" I whispered as she got up, grabbed her notebook, and raced past me.

"Yeah!" she whispered back, rather abruptly, and exited.

"Hmm," I thought. "Oh well."

After class, I entered the ladies' room; there were a few other ladies in there as well, one of whom was trying to talk to me. We both stopped talking as I stood in front of the mirror and looked into it.

"Oh...oh dear," I said.

The mirror had bright red blood spatter all over it.

"Somebody must have cut herself!" exclaimed the lady I had been talking to.

"No," I said, looking more closely at it. "That's not from a cut. Judging by the pattern of the blood spatter, I'd say it had to be from a cough or a sneeze. On second thought, it couldn't have been a sneeze, because the pattern goes upward. Your head moves downward when you sneeze."

I didn't mean to sound so clinical...must be all those Monday nights spent watching CSI: Miami. But that was a pretty unusual situation, wouldn't you say?

I grabbed a big wad of paper towels and wet them slightly, swabbing the mirror off a bit and ruining any chance I ever would have had at being a real CSI (rule number one: don't tamper with the evidence!). But it was just rather shocking, that bright red spatter all over the place. I didn't want people to start panicking. Later on I had someone call to have the mirror, walls, and faucet cleaned. I could have finished the job myself, but there was the issue of contamination to deal with. I certainly didn't want to catch whatever that poor girl had. Of course, it mightn't have been her; it could have been anybody.

What I find really curious is the fact that all the blood was on the mirror, faucet, and wall -- not in the sink. If someone were going to chunder, wouldn't she have done it at the first available place (i.e., the sink)? But there was no blood there. Since there was no blood in the sink, why was there blood on the mirror? Did she clean the sink after? If so, why clean the sink but not the mirror?

There I go sounding clinical again. Sorry. Clair darling, perhaps you, being the real medical person round here, would have an opinion on this kind of thing? SFL? Bre? Any words of wisdom?

Eagerly awaiting replies! :D :D :D

My Future Aussie Husband

His name is Danny Perry. He is 23 and he works on a 4,000-acre estate outside of Hamilton in Victoria.

Oh yeah, and his dog's name is Mate. Real original, that. ;)

A New Post!

Well, finally I have a few minutes to update! Whee! (I can hear SFL rubbing his hands together in anticipation already, planning his next barrage of comments.)

First of all, I have something I would like to get off my chest. This is a memo to people everywhere: Russell Crowe's name is spelt R-U-S-S-E-L-L C-R-O-W-E! Two Ss! Two Ls! "Crowe" with an E, not "crow" like the black cawing bird! Why is this so difficult?!

*ahem*

*sits back down daintily*

*folds hands*

*looks innocent*

I just had to say it. Forgive me. All of my faithful readers can ignore this; this was not meant for you. It just really, really irks me when I see people (like at the movie theatre when I went to see Cinderella Man) constantly misspelling his name. It is not hard! Really, I promise!

Anyway. On to the next topic. This is also something I just have to say. And I am going to say it in capitals. Prepare yourself.

TIMOTHY TREADWELL WAS A FLAMING IDIOT!!!

For those who don't recognise the name, he was the guy featured in Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man that just came out on DVD. You know, the one who got eaten.

I know we are not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but honestly. What on earth did he and his girlfriend EXPECT to happen when they moved into a grizzly bear community? Good grief. It doesn't take much of a brain to figure out that when an animal has BIG TEETH and SHARP CLAWS and outweighs you by about, oh, 400 kilos or so and can kill you with the swipe of a paw if it so chooses that YOU SHOULD NOT MOVE IN WITH IT!

OK. Next topic. I am convinced that spell-check is going to be the demise of civilisation. When you have a computer correcting all your spelling/punctuation/grammatical/structural mistakes for you without being asked, how are you going to learn how to spell correctly? Most people insist that you learn by doing. Yes? Well then. Point made, I believe.

All right, I have gotten the weighty stuff out of the way. Now!

I am very happy that Drew and Cheryl won Dancing With the Stars! Huzzah! (No, before anybody starts making smart remarks, I have never heard a 98 Degrees song, have no idea what Drew Lachey does in "real life," and will, with difficulty, restrain myself from making a comment on his brother's choice of a wife. Excuse me, ex-wife. Or whatever. If I never see another Pizza Hut commercial in my life, I'll be very happy. If you don't know what I'm talking about, consider yourself very fortunate to have escaped the headache.)

Also, congratulations to Shizuka Arakawa of Japan for skating a nearly flawless performance to win the Olympic gold. Japan's first-ever Olympic gold ladies' figure-skating medal! That's a milestone. (That was the only part of the Olympics I actually watched, so that's the only one I can comment on.)

Some random movie reviews now...bear with me...

First, I must say that I was a little disappointed with the new Zorro movie. I loved the first one -- have always been a big fan of Zorro movies (and there have been plenty. I think I like Alain Delon's version the best, though). And The Legend of Zorro had plenty of fire, plenty of dazzling spectacle and flashy swordfighting, plenty of pretty people to carry the film. It was almost too perfect. Except...yes, you knew there had to be an "except..."

They completely ignored the historical aspect of the film! No, scratch that, they didn't ignore it -- they just got it totally wrong. I expected better given their historically-based precedent involving the Murieta brothers, though technically I don't think Alejandro Murieta ever existed. It was only Joaquin. But I digress. I could go on all night about that -- I love the whole Joaquin Murieta story. Wrote a paper on it once...

Yeah. Anyway. So in this movie, suddenly Alejandro Murieta is Alejandro de la Vega, with not a word of explanation? I guess Alejandro took Elena's name. Interesting. He was so proud of being a Murieta in the last movie (wrote an M on Captain Love's face with his sword, even!), but now he doesn't care?

And then there is the whole Confederate Army thing. The "newly-formed" Confederate Army, in 1850? Please.

*puts on fake London accent* "Bit premature, darling, don't you think?"

Not to mention that the "Confederate Army" was headed by a very ancient Pierre Beauregard who got blown up with nitroglycerin before ever getting the chance to lead the army to a Fort Sumter victory. Oh, but that's right, it was 1850! They still had to wait11 years for Fort Sumter. I suppose they just wandered around in the wilderness of Tennessee until then. But poor old General Beauregard looked as if he would have keeled over in a stiff breeze, so then they wouldn't have had a field commander. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. *tsk*

Nevertheless, if you want to get the movie just to enjoy a beautiful spectacle with great effects, acting and cinematography, go ahead. You will like it. Just shut your eyes and block your ears whenever they attempt something historical.

Next: His Girl Thursday, with Rosalind Russell and Archibald Leach -- I mean, Cary Grant! (Poor bloke, no wonder he changed his name.) All I will say is that they talk very fast in this one and it is very amusing. I liked it!

Next: This Gun For Hire, with Alan Ladd and Veronica Lake. On the DVD cover it was describing the main character and said something like, "Skilled with both a gun and a girl..." Well, hate to burst anyone's bubble, but the movie was nothing like that. Actually the main character was very BAD at relating to the main female character. Not to mention she was happily engaged to the fellow who played the Music Man. (LOL!) And in the end...well, I won't tell you what happens in the end. All I will say is that I could have murdered the main character myself when he offed the poor little kitty cat just because it was purring...stupid man. Totally unnecessary. That's the only thing I didn't like.

Anyway...I had a couple more to review, but Mum wants her turn on the Fantabulous Machine (and besides I need a shower). Next post I will review the last two films (Firewall and the miniseries Into the West). Ciao for now, y'all.